Out of the blue, I was blindsided by the fact that my husband has been “getting his affairs in order” without us fully having that discussion out loud. It hit me like a bus and my first inclination was to fight it and deny any talk of such things. It was a difficult discussion but it was needed, as he assured me that he's going to not give up the fight but also wants to prepare things for if he does die.
I was blessed by several who gave me wise counsel in this area and said that it’s his way of taking care of me and showing me his love. It is one of the hardest things I’ve ever encountered but it got me thinking.
Why do we leave how we feel about those we love unsaid? Why does it take something like my husband’s difficult cancer journey to push us to say, “I love you” when it can be said anytime? To say things like, “My life is different because I met you. I’m so glad I did!” We are all finite beings and we don't know when any of us will die so we should never leave anything unsaid.
Romans 12:18 says, "...If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
In light of that verse, I have some words of encouragement for all of us.
Do the work to make amends when possible.
If you recognize something positive in someone around you, tell them.
Take the time to spend one-on-one time with those closest to you. We found this difficult when our 5 girls were little, but we did prioritize mom-daughter/dad-daughter dates to communicate to each daughter that we valued, loved, and saw them and what they were dealing with at different times in their lives.
Send the text or make the call. Each of us has relationships that have gone sour or not ended well. Sometimes, it's a friendship or relationship for a season and that's totally fine. We don't need to heap onto ourselves unnecessary guilt or shame if that's the case. But, if you have someone you know that you can make an effort with, with the goal of restoring that relationship and it is a positive decision, do not delay!
My husband's cancer journey has pushed this kind of conversation to the forefront of our existence but it is something each of us should consider. That way, if/when that time comes, we have left nothing unsaid.
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